Dirty Pick Up Lines
Yo Mama Jokes
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An old man and his wife were having breakfast on their porch one morning. All of a sudden, he reached over and slapped the woman in the back of the head.
"What the hell was that for!?", she asked.
"That was for 40 years of bad sex!", he said.
Ten minutes later, she poured a cup of scalding hot coffee in his lap.
"What the fuck was that for!?, he screamed.
"That was for knowing the difference!", she said with a grin.
Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants"
There was a grandpa sitting on his porch, rocking in his chair, and chewing on a piece of grass, on a beautiful sunny morning.
Down the road comes his grandson, a little 'slow', carrying some chicken wire.
Old man says 'hey junior, whatcha gonna do with that there chicken wire?
The boy answers "Well grandpa, Im gonna catch me some chickens".
The grandpa laughs, shakes his head, and dozes off.
Next thing you know, back comes his granson with a whole bunch of chickens under his arm.
The grandpa shakes his head and wonders.
Next day, the grandpa is rocking on his porch, and sure enough his grandson comes down the road, carrying 2 rolls of duct tape.
The old man says "hey junior, whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?"
The boy replies, "well grandpa, Im gonna catch me some ducks".
The grandpa laughs again, shakes his head and dozes off.
Next thing dont ya know his grandson comes back with a whole bunch of ducks under his arm.
Now the grandpa is like wow, ok, he is lucky I guess.
The next day, the grandpa is rocking away looking down the street and here comes his grandson again.
The grandpa says " hey junior, whatcha got under your arm there?"
The boy answers, "well grandpa, I got me some pussy willows".
The grandpa gets up quick off his chair and yells, "hold on junior, let me get my coat."
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