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  • Hooker Jokes
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    Call Girl
    A call girl and her customer were negotiating matters before hitting the hay.
    He wanted 2 hours of anal sex.
    She, however, was not so thrilled at the prospect.
    "Have you seen Alotta Fagina?", she asked, trying to deflect him.
    "No", he replied,
    "I'm more interested in getting to know Wilma Dichfit!"

    One Hot Night
    A young man and his hot date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

    "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

    After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

    "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."

    Dwarfs Getting Lucky
    Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

    The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

    In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

    The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

    The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"

    First Pussy
    This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.

    She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,

    "Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."

    Two hookers were standing on a street corner ready for a night of business.

    "It's gonna be a good night tonight, I can tell" says one of the girls.

    "How can you tell?" says the other.

    "I can smell cock in the air" replies the first hooker.

    "Sorry", her friend replied, " I just burped!"

    Worlds Oldest Profession
    One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and for occupation she put prostitution.

    The tax collector explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation.

    She said she'd have to go home and think about it and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation.

    An hour later she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer."

    He said, "How do you get chicken farmer out of prostitution."

    She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."

    Old Whores
    Two tired old whores were sitting on the stairs to their apartment building, sharing a box of cheap wine, watching the sun come up. One asked the other, " ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
    Her friend thought about it for a minute and said, "No. But I sure have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

    Naked Woman
    When I got back to my hotel after a show, I found a naked woman in my room.
    I asked, "What were you doing in my bed?"
    She said, "About 500 dollars since 7 p.m."

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