Dirty Pick Up Lines
Yo Mama Jokes
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A guy came to Las Vegas for the first time and was having a ball. His first night in town he won a bunch of money at the tables and decided to go find a girl. He walked outside the casino and saw a gorgeous girl walking down the Strip, so he called to her, "Hey honey!"
She came right over to him and said, "Hi!!" with a big beautiful smile. She was a knockout! He whispered to her, "Hey honey, how much for some head?" "Head!" she said. "Well, that'll cost you $200." "$200!" he exclaimed. "That's a lot!" She smiled at him and pointed to a Mercedes sports car parked nearby. "Do you see that Mercedes?" she asked. "Well, I own that Mercedes, because I give the best damn head in town, and you'll agree, after you've had some." The guy was amazed, but he had the money, and she was gorgeous, so he paid her the $200 and she was right--it was the best damn head he'd ever had. So he went back to his room very happy.
The next night he was playing slot machines and hit a jackpot, and as he was cashing out he suddenly thought of the girl again. He decided he wanted to see her again, so he jumped in a taxi and went looking for her on the Strip. He saw her and yelled out the window of the taxi, "Hey honey!!" She saw him and ran over to the cab and said, "Well Hi!!" with her beautiful smile, and he just melted. He grabbed her hand and said, "Honey, I think I want some ass tonight." "Ass!" she replied, winking. "Well, that's gonna cost you $500." "$500!" he said, shocked. "Wow, that's a lot!" She pointed to a high-rise apartment building right in the heart of the Strip and said, "Do you see that building? I have a penthouse in that building, because this ass is the best you'll get anywhere." And she gave him such a seductive look he couldn't stand it, so he paid her the $500 and indeed, it was some amazing ass he enjoyed that night, and he went back to his room very happy once again.
His last night in town, he still had plenty of money because he'd been saving it for his last chance to see that luscious girl.
He started searching for her as soon as he could find a cab, and soon he saw her strolling down the sidewalk and yelled at the cab driver to stop. "Honey! Hey honey!" he yelled out the window, delighted he'd found her one more time. She came right over and gave him a big kiss and her sexy "Hi!!" and he thought he would just die if he didn't get her in bed as soon as possible, so this time he said to her, "Honey, I'm leaving tomorrow and I want it all. How much for the pussy, all night??"
She stared at him, and he braced himself for what price she might quote him this time, but this time she threw back her head and laughed. "Honey..." she said, pointing to a new hotel that was getting ready to open, said to be the fanciest the town had ever seen. "Honey--do you see that hotel?" "Oh my God!" he said, staring. "Don't tell me you own that hotel, too??"
"Oh no!" she said to him, laughing and giving him a little wink and his bulge a little squeeze..."But I would---if I HAD a pussy!"
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