Dirty Pick Up Lines
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A man just bought a shiny new Corvette, and wanted to open her up down the freeway. It was about 3am, and he pressed his luck that there were no cops on the overpasses that early in the morning.
So, the man lead-footed the Corvette down the highway. Sure enough there was a cop with his radar gun, who caught him red-handed, and pulled him over.
The cop walks up to the guys window, and asks him why he was going so fast?
The man tells the cop that he was running late to work.
Cop says "Well, what do you do for a living?
Guy says "Well officer, I'm a Rectum Stretcher.
The cop is confused as hell and says "What the hell is a freaking Rectum Stretcher?"
Guy explains. "First you stick your equipment in there, and spread it out, and you keep worki'n it slowly until you get it stretched all the way out 'till it's six feet long."
Cop is really intrigued at this time. He asks: "What do you do with a six foot asshole?
Guy responds: "You give it a badge, patrol car and a radar gun. Then you park it on a bridge.
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