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  • Blonde Jokes
     Blonde Q's and A's(Part 2)

    Joke info
    Date: 2003-02-19
    By: thedirty

    Rating: 
     3.3 out of 5 (27 votes)
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  • Posted By?:
    4Q2

  • The Joke:
    Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator? A: By the chipped tooth.

    Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

    Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

    Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: To keep from bruising their ears.

    Q: Why do blondes have vaginas? A: So guys will talk to them at parties.

    Q: Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm? A: She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?).

    Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? A: Full.

    Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?" A: "No, I just lie there."

    Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning? A: "Thanks, guys..."

    Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air pockets.

    Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: "Space. The final frontier......"

    Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team? A: Just One... Boomer Esiason.

    Q: What's brown and red and black and blue? A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

    Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner? A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.

    Q: How does the blonde car pool work? A: They all meet at work at 7:45.

    Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!

    Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

    Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe.

    Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry? A: Because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them!

    Q: Did you hear about the blonde that said she would do anything for a fur coat? A: Well, now she can't button it.(prego)

    Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had an apendix operation? A: Well, now she is making money on the side.

    Q: Did you hear about the scared blonde nurse down by the water? A: She won't go DOWN ON THE DOC.

    Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds? A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.

    Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ALMOST CAUSED A WRECK? A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.

    Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE DOCTOR? A: She shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.

    Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS? A: She was dragged 200 yards.

    Q: DID YOU HEAR BOUT THE BLONDE WHO COULN'T WAIT TO SEE "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA"? A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.

    Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF A MIRROR WITH HER EYES CLOSED? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

    Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR BLONDES? A: They take off their makeup.

    Q: Why won't a blonde drink beer at the beach? A: She's afraid to get sand in her Busch.

    Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts? A: To keep their legs together.

    Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

    Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree.

    Q: HOW MANY BLONDES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB? A: Blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.

    Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One.

    Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ? A: She didn't know what ONE came first...

    Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers. A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.

    Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? A: Divorced.

    Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole? A: Divorced.

    Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

    Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

    Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.

    Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.

    Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.

    Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.

    Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries.

    Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress? A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

    Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out on the screen. Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out.

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

    Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....

    Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

    Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

    Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

    Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!

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