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  • Blonde Jokes
     Blonde Q's and A's(Part 3)

    Joke info
    Date: 2003-02-19
    By: thedirty

    Rating: 
     3.4 out of 5 (32 votes)
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    4Q2

  • The Joke:
    Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

    Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

    Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

    Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

    Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

    Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

    Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

    Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper.

    Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show!

    Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Because they always burn their niples.

    Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.

    Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

    Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

    Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home.

    Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.

    Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond? A: Bucket seats.

    Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

    Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

    Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

    Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747

    Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes? A: A brunette with bad breath.

    Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

    Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

    Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

    Q: What's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone? A: Ice cream cones don't lick back.

    Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread.

    Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

    Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

    Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

    Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits!"

    Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.

    Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common? A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.

    Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

    Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

    Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

    Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

    Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common? A1: They both have a black box. A2: Both have a cockpit.

    Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.

    Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"

    Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants.

    Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last years hide and go seek winner.

    Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

    Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air bubbles.

    Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A: A whine and cheese party!

    Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!

    Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste.

    Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? A: An air mattress.

    Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An Air Bag.

    Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.

    Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.

    Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.

    Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee'

    Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.

    Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.

    Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!

    Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? A: All you can eat, under a buck.

    Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?

    A: An interpreter.

    Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?

    A: Sweet Fuck All...

    Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?

    A: Bobbing for Bimbos.

    Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

    A: Frosted Flakes.

    Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

    A: A Space Invader.

    Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

    A: Branch Manager.

    Q: What do you call a smart blond?

    A1: A golden retriever.

    A2: An indicator of a really bad hangover.

    Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?

    A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

    Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?

    A: The back of her head.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?

    A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...

    Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?

    A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.

    Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

    A: Artificial intelligence.

    Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?

    A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

    Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?

    A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

    Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?

    A1: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.

    A2: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.

    Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

    A: Her ankles.

    Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

    A: "Have another beer."

    Q: What do Blondes say after sex?

    A1: Thanks Guys.

    A2: Are you boys all in the same band?

    A3: Do you guys all play for the (..............)? insert team name here.

    Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

    A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

    Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

    A: They're both empty from the neck up.

    Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

    A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

    Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?

    A: They both have black roots.

    Q: What does a blonde owl say?

    A: What, what?

    Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?

    A: A brain tumor.

    Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?

    A: Two brunettes.

    Q: What do a blonde and Presdient Gorbachev have in common?

    A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?

    A: He knows who the ten men were.

    Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?

    A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.

    A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

    Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.

    A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

    Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?

    A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..

    I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

    Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?

    A: Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?

    R: I don't know.

    A: Neither did she.

    Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

    A: To see what was on the other side.

    Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?

    A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

    Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?

    A: Too many blondes were drowning.

    Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?

    A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.

    Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

    A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

    Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?

    A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

    Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?

    A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

    Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?

    A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

    Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

    A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

    Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

    A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

    Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

    A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

    Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?

    A: So she could lip read.

    Q: Why did God create blondes?

    A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

    Q: Why did God create brunettes?

    A: Neither could the blondes.

    Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?

    A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

    Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

    A: To turn the blinker off.

    Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

    A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

    Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?

    A: To see what was on the other side.

    Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?

    A: Because she loved children.

    Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??

    A: She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.

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