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  • Occupy Wall Street Joke
    Back to: Political Jokes

    A wealthy and powerful Wall Street executive left his office one evening and was walking to his Mercedes; he took a short cut through a side street. A panhandler sitting next to his shopping cart said "Spare change sir?"

    "I have no money with me. Sorry. I really wish I could help" said the executive. He turned to leave.

    "You don't REALLY want to help. People like you don?t care about a poor man like me!" said the homeless man. "Look at you Mister Pinstripes!"

    He then looked at the executives expensive tailored Armani business suit, his polished Italian shoes, his briefcase, his silk tie and carefully combed hair and shook his head.

    The executive said "I told you. I have no cash! I would be glad to help you in any way that I could!"

    ?Is that a promise?? said the panhandler. "You would do something for me if you could?"

    "Yes. It's a promise. I give you my word!" said the executive impatiently.

    "But there's no way to help except for money!"

    "Oh yes there is!" said the panhandler.
    "Sit right down here and let's talk!"

    "Sit down on the STREET?" said the executive. "In my BUSINESS SUIT? Look at the way I am DRESSED! What about my dignity?"

    "You promised!? said the panhandler."But if you're too uppity and high and mighty?"

    The executive sighed. "Alright. But how can I help you? I don?t understand."

    "Sit down here behind my cart. I'll explain."

    The tall, distinguished, dignified executive didn?t like the idea. But he had promised?.

    "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I did promise. But I don?t have much time!? and he sat down on the pavement.

    "That's right!" said the panhandler. "Kick back! Relax! Forget the office! You're too worried! Put your head back! Don't worry about your hair! I wouldn't mind having a head of silver hair like that! How old are you? I bet this life is stressful..?

    "I'm 54. Yes, it is" The executive put his head against the building.

    The panhandler said "FIRST! Kick off those fancy, classy shoes and relax!"

    "Take off my SHOES?" said the executive. "I can't do that! Here on the street!"

    "What are you worried about Mister Pinstripes? You're not in your fancy office now! No need for SHOES!"

    The panhandler grabbed his feet and untied his Italian shoes. He pulled them off. "Look at these beauties! FERRAGAMO! Size ten, So much nice leather so people will be impressed!"

    "So now I'm sitting here without my SHOES on! Now please - what can I do for you?" said the executive.

    "THIS is what you can do Mister Wall Street!" said the panhandler. He reached up and unbuckled the executive's belt. "Just relax. Don't think about the office. Forget about Wall Street. Just enjoy"

    "WHAT!" cried the executive. ?So THIS is what I can give! I have to leave!" He started to stand up but the panhandlers hand reached inside his pants..He groaned with pleasure - and fell back on to the street.." Just for a minute..."

    "Look at this Armani suit! Mister Pinstripes! You're too well dressed. Let's get these fancy suit pants off you? said the panhandler. ?You?re on the street now!?

    "I'm on the street. ME!" said the executive. "My PANTS! I should leave NOW."

    "Yes, Mister High and Mighty!? and the panhandler was working him inside his pants. The executive groaned again. ?I don?t think you want to go right away! Now we were talking about these pinstriped suit pants. Great for the nice office. But they just get in the way here. They have to GO!?

    "My PANTS! Oooohhhh?..? said the executive. His pinstriped suit pants were dragged off his long legs. Then his boxers.

    "I can't let you keep this on!\" The panhandler yanked his suit jacket off and pulled off the long, black dress socks. ?You sure do have nice clean feet Mister Wall Street!?
    "Why did you take my SOCKS off?" said the executive.
    "I'll keep you barefoot until I'm done with you. Keeps you humble. Your size tens are used to Italian shoes!? said the panhandler, holding up the long socks.

    The executive said "What am I doing? I can't believe this is happening. I have never..." the panhandler ran his hand over him again and he stopped talking.

    The panhandler said "There's always a first time! Lie back on the street".Let me get that nice silk tie off you! I want your neck naked - and your shiny white shirt!? He held one Italian shoe in each hand. ?You won?t be needing these for a while! You REALLY have nice clean feet! And you were worried about your CLOTHES! And your dignity! Now I\'ll hold on to your size tens....\"

    Twenty minutes later the executive was sitting in a daze on the street. The panhandler handed him his shorts.

    "I..I have to go home" said the executive. He stood up slowly and put on his shorts. "Where is my suit?"

    "In my cart!" said the panhandler. "It belongs to me now! It's already covered with garbage. Along with those expensive shoes and socks and your tie. I already have one of your shoes filled with whiskey!"

    "GARBAGE! You put my $2500 suit in your CART! That was an ARMANI SUIT! You?re using my Ferragamo wingtip shoes to DRINK WHISKEY! What am I supposed to wear home?" The executive was completely stunned. "I can't walk down the main street in my UNDERWEAR!"

    The panhandler handed him a pair of used sweat pants and shirt and flip flops. "They're CLEAN!"

    "THIS is what I am supposed to wear! Look at me" muttered the executive.
    "What will I tell my WIFE!"

    "Tell her you gave to the homeless! Tell her you GAVE IT UP for the homeless! Tell her you will never be the same man!"

    The executive pulled on the cheap clothes. ?I look like a FOOL! You stripped me of everything?

    "BIG CHANGE FROM THAT FANCY SUIT! And no more FERRAGAMOS for your size tens! I told you that you had plenty to give me!" laughed the panhandler.?A little piece of you will always belong to the street now. Look at the sole of your size ten. I left a message By the way my name is BUD?

    "WHAT?" cried the executive. There on his naked sole he read in black ink:

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