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"" JOKE - Sunday, November 9th 2008, 02:50pm:
Category: Blonde Jokes
Blonde Q's and A's(Part 3)
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show!
Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Because they always burn their niples.
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.
Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond? A: Bucket seats.
Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747
Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes? A: A brunette with bad breath.
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone? A: Ice cream cones don't lick back.
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits!"
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common? A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common? A1: They both have a black box. A2: Both have a cockpit.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants.
Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last years hide and go seek winner.
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.
Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air bubbles.
Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A: A whine and cheese party!
Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!
Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? A: An air mattress.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An Air Bag.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee'
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?
A: Sweet Fuck All...
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Bobbing for Bimbos.
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...
Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A1: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
A2: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the (..............)? insert team name here.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.
Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q: What do a blonde and Presdient Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?
R: I don't know.
A: Neither did she.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.
Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.
Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.
Rating: 3.3 out of 5 (37 votes)
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