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"" JOKE - Sunday, November 9th 2008, 02:50pm:

Category: Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Q's and A's(Part 3)

Posted By?:
4Q2

The Joke:
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show!

Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Because they always burn their niples.

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond? A: Bucket seats.

Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747

Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes? A: A brunette with bad breath.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone? A: Ice cream cones don't lick back.

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.

Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common? A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.

Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common? A1: They both have a black box. A2: Both have a cockpit.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.

Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last years hide and go seek winner.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air bubbles.

Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A: A whine and cheese party!

Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste.

Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? A: An air mattress.

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An Air Bag.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee'

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?

A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?

A: Sweet Fuck All...

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?

A: Bobbing for Bimbos.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

A: Branch Manager.

Q: What do you call a smart blond?

A1: A golden retriever.

A2: An indicator of a really bad hangover.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?

A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?

A: The back of her head.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?

A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...

Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?

A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?

A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?

A1: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.

A2: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?

A1: Thanks Guys.

A2: Are you boys all in the same band?

A3: Do you guys all play for the (..............)? insert team name here.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?

A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?

A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?

A: Two brunettes.

Q: What do a blonde and Presdient Gorbachev have in common?

A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?

A: He knows who the ten men were.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?

A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.

A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.

A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?

A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..

I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?

A: Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?

R: I don't know.

A: Neither did she.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?

A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?

A: Too many blondes were drowning.

Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?

A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?

A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?

A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?

A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?

A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?

A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?

A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?

A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?

A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??

A: She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.

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Joke info:
Date: 2003-02-19
By: thedirty
Rating: 3.3 out of 5 (37 votes)

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